Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts
by SVZ
Summary: The friendship between Kurt Hummel and his currently happily taken Single Lady Tina Cohen-Chang transcends geographic boundaries. Or at least different school districts.Follows the canon. Complete one-shot. Mike and Tina, Klaine, and Kurt/Tina friendship.


**Title:** Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts  
**Author:** SVZ  
**Fandom:** Glee  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Spoilers:** Up to "Original Song".  
**Characters/Pairings:** Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Mike/Tina, ensemble and background characters.  
**Word Count:** Total - 8240.  
**Summary:** The friendship between Kurt Hummel and his (currently happily taken) Single Lady Tina Cohen-Chang transcends geographic boundaries. Or at least different school districts. Follows the canon.  
**Notes:** I love Glee friendship fics and I've always noticed that Kurt and Tina are often hanging out on the show and wanted to write fic about Kurt Hummel and Tina Cohen-Chang being BAMFs. This fic is written in present-tense, second person (the first part from Tina's POV, the second from Kurt's). If that's not your cup of tea, this might not be the fic for you. Special thanks to Pyroclastic her amazing S2 Timeline; it was _so helpful_ for writing this.

Also, song title is stolen from Charlene Kaye's "Skin and Bones" and Dalton Academy is a boarding school; just go with it.

**Romanticizing These Redundant Thoughts**

**

* * *

**

_{ tina } _

No matter how you look at it; it seemed like all the couples in New Directions had their days numbered.

That by itself isn't too surprising, given the number of times everyone has swapped partners, and considering how dysfunctional – and strangely incestuous – all the relationships were. It's like a never-ending game of musical chairs; you're never sure if Finn and Rachel are still together, or if you're danger of saying something at exactly the wrong moment - which _has_ happened before to decidedly awkward results. You're still learning that a lot of the time, it's still better not to say anything at all.

It's not going to be a surprise (because who are they kidding? like they're going to _make it_ when even picture perfect Sam and Quinn are having problems), it's just inevitable.

But it's the wait that's killing you.

* * *

Either the lighting in his shared double is particularly awful tonight or Kurt has been studying too hard again.

You can see the familiar dark under-eye circles creeping up again during your weekly Skype session – you haven't seen them since before his transfer to Dalton, before everyone realized how serious things between Karofsky and Kurt had gotten... before a lot of things.

You don't like it.

"It's the latter," Kurt confesses, a little rueful, when you confront him about them. "Dalton's curriculum is a lot harder than McKinley's and transferring mid-semester – " he makes a vague hand gesture at the pile of teetering textbooks visible on his desk, then adds, "I'm not about to let my parents' honeymoon money go to waste. I have a theory that the teachers here assign us so much work so we won't have _time_ to make trouble."

You frown at your screen when Kurt surreptitiously adjusts his webcam to what he probably thinks is a more flattering angle. If anything, this new angle only makes him look even more exhausted.

"Sleep. You have the entire weekend to study."

One corner of Kurt's mouth quirks up. "I'm spending the weekend at _Dalton_. I can't even make the commute home for our weekly dinner because of all the work."

"Yet here you are, talking to me," you tease, laughing. "Being all studious. I bet no one else is studying." Even through the crappy tinny speakers on your laptop, you could hear strains of music coming from the hallways of Kurt's dormitory - which is to be expected at a boys' boarding school on a Friday night. The door of his room's shut, but if you try hard enough, you can make out the buzz of male voices. "Hey," you try again, "if you're not going to bed - you should at least socialize."

Kurt throws you a look that's half-grateful and half 'bitch, please'. Predictably enough, he ignores your advice. "So, Mercedes was telling me something very interesting earlier," he drawls, "something about how you were convinced that Mike was cheating on you with Brittany?"

He's trying to distract you, and damn him, it's working.

You groan a little from embarrassment.

No doubt, Mercedes had probably exaggerated how crazy you were acting. You fill him in on the _real_ story (as well as some of your concerns and fears) while he muddles his way through one of his enormous textbooks - because your logic totally made sense, okay, you're not one of those psycho paranoid chicks like that girl from _The Social Network_.

When you're finally done, Kurt is staring with raised eyebrows. "Tina," he says slowly, giving you a look that suggests that you might be mentally deficient. "You do realize that Mike adores you, right?" Before you can even reply, he adds, "I'm not even joking: he's completely head-over-heels in love with you. He stood up to Karofsky in the locker room for you."

"You think so?" Okay, dial it down a little - now you're just sounding _pathetic_. "And he did it for you too."

"I'm sure he did, Mike's a nice guy," Kurt agrees, nodding. "But he's not the knight in shining armor type. He has trouble speaking up in class, so I'm sure he did it to impress you."

"Oh."

"And because he's a nice guy," Kurt adds, "he's not going to cheat on you with _Brittany_. Trust me, they're just friends. While we were still dating, Brittany told me she asked him out and he turned her down nicely. He's not interested in her."

While it's not like you don't trust Kurt (because you do, and he'll never lie to you unless you do something like insult Bernadette Peters in front of him), but it's just that you can't seem to believe that.

"So, how's Blaine?" you ask, and if Kurt notices that you employed your emergency subject change tactic, he doesn't call you on it. Instead, he happily tells you stories about _Blaine this_, and _Blaine that_ and all you can think about is how Kurt has it so bad for this boy.

* * *

You almost wish you could blame it on something stupid; that you and Mike fought more often, because the only possible outcome you can see is having an actual serious talk about their relationship with Mike.

A legit, potentially awkward and uncomfortable conversation because of your stupid insecurities. That's the last thing you want.

You know Mike's shortcomings better than anyone.

He's a bit too passive, he's a big mama's boy, and his self-esteem could use some work.

But he also cares about you. After Kurt, so many people have also parroted that sentiment ("Girl," Mercedes had said, side-eyeing you in between periods, "did you seriously think that _Mike Chang_ would cheat on you after conquering his stage fright to sing with you in Glee? You're crazy.") that you're starting to believe them.

Mike cares a lot about you.

He's cute, sweet, and almost universally as well liked as Brittany. His grades are good, he's a hell of a dancer, and he's on the football and basketball team. He's pretty damn perfect, all things considered.

And that's the thing: he's all those things - he's all kinds of perfect, he's a _jock_, and he's dating you.

You're kind of wondering about the catch; when he's going to wake up one day and realize he could have a pretty blonde Cheerio for a girlfriend instead of you, that he could trade you up for a nicer model (like Artie did with you after your breakup).

Because guys like Mike Chang don't go for girls like you.

You're a nobody; just a weird circus sideshow who faked a stutter, who owns more Tim Burton movies that what can be considered socially acceptable.

At first, you thought that Mike asked you out due to the Asian thing. Like maybe it's due to parental pressure and he's just appeasing his traditional, Confucian "date Asian girls only!" parents.

But after meeting his parents, you think that's probably not it. Mr. and Mrs. Chang are ridiculously chill, second-generation Chinese-Americans who grew up in the Bay area before moving to Lima.

They're also pretty cool, as far as adults go: like Mike, they don't seem to mind that you favor black Victorian dresses and colorful streaks in your hair (you change them to suit your mood) instead of demure sundresses, North Face jackets, and Uggs.

If Mike is dating you because you're Asian - well, that's of his own accord. He _does_ take stuff like his cultural heritage more seriously than you do, but he also hadn't been disappointed when you told him you're technically half-Asian and you've been raised traditionally American. ("My mom's Jewish. My biological dad's Korean, but he and my mom divorced when I was really young - and he's, I don't know, in Colorado teaching Spanish at a community college or something. I think of Luke as my dad.")

So you're still confused as to why _you_, because every time Mike catches your eye from across the room, he shoots you a smile that makes your heart stutter in your chest. And every time, it feels like you're bookmarking them in your memory because one of these days, he's going to realize that he's a sweet, good-looking guy and he's far too good for you.

* * *

So maybe going after the ball had been a fantastically stupid idea ("Very stupid," Kurt berates you later after the game, "Blaine said he's sure the guys on the other team were on steroids. _What were you even thinking_?") and a lot of people have taken it upon themselves to inform you of this fact.

Your parents aren't happy.

"When we signed the consent forms," Luke informs her, looking wan, worried and worst of all - disappointed, "We signed them because you _promised us_ that all you were going to lie down on the ground."

"I'm all for female empowerment," your mom adds, shaking her head, "but you could have been seriously injured. Those were big guys out there and you're tiny, sweetheart."

They don't try to punish you.

You almost wish that they would so you could feel less guilty about something that you did out of instinct and boredom.

When Mike calls you after the winning match, he sounds pleasantly surprised that you're not grounded for life. "You're not hurting right now, are you?" he asks, for what seems like the millionth time.

"I'm just lightly bruised and a little sore," you reassure him again. If it's possible, you feel even more wrecked with guilt: you remember how he had been against you playing from the start and the memory of the concern look on his face when he rushed to see you at the end zone has been imprinted in your memory. "I'll be fine. I have the entire weekend to rest."

"I'll come by tomorrow with some Tiger Balm and some tea. My mom says that the tea will help you feel better."

"Great," you reply, horrified but totally lying through your teeth. "Um, thank your mom for me. That's so thoughtful of her."

The tea tastes even viler than you had anticipated, you smell like menthol for the rest of the weekend, but you feel almost normal when Monday rolls around.

For the next few days, Mike constantly hovers by your side. He keeps sending you these quick, hesitant side-glances, as though checking to make sure that you're all right. Whenever he touches you (holding hands in the hallways, kissing, making out) - he does it so lightly, you wonder if he honestly thinks you'll fall apart if he's not careful.

(On the upside: no one tries to slushie you for the entire week - a new record.)

But when Thursday comes along - you pull Mike into an empty classroom in between periods and inform him, quite sternly, that you're not about to break - and kiss him hard to prove your point.

Mike laughs against your lips, breath warm. When he pulls away slightly and looks at you, sincere and sweet, you feel a jolt of pride when you notice that his hair's slightly disheveled and his face is flushed because _you did this to him_.

He smiles, "Okay, I get it," before his lips ghost over your face - trembling when they press against your forehead, eyelids, the bridge of your nose, and only stopping when the bell rings - signaling that you're both late to class.

* * *

Mercedes is filling you in on the latest gossip on Jacob Ben Israel's blog at her locker when you suddenly feel a pair of arms snake around your waist:

"Hey," Mike greets you, cheerfully, ignoring your stifled shriek of surprise. "How are you?" He directs the question to both you and Mercedes.

"Good," Mercedes answers, smiling. You're too busy grumbling about how much you _hate_ it when people sneak up on you to answer his question, and while you can't _see_ him, you're sure your boyfriend's eyes are twinkling from amusement at this moment.

"So, I was thinking," Mike says, interrupting your annoyed complaints, "about taking you out for lunch today. What do you think?"

"Lunch date off-campus," Mercedes says, amused. "Romantic."

"Nice, but this isn't California, Mike," you protest, rolling your eyes a little. "We can't just go off campus for lunch - we can get in serious trouble if we don't have passes."

"But isn't Figgins still convinced you're a vampire?" Mercedes asks, before Mike even has a chance to respond.

Mike nods enthusiastically. "Coach Beiste is the hall monitor this period. She likes us; she'll totally let us go. And we can always stop by Starbucks and get her a coffee as thanks."

"Wait, if we're _stopping_ by Starbucks, where are we having lunch?"

"Yesterday, you said you were craving burgers so I thought maybe Ruby Tuesday's?" Mike quickly adds, "If you want to go somewhere else - that's fine too! We can go to Starbucks if that's what you want - "

"Ruby Tuesday's fine," you manage to say, still stunned. "Um, I'll meet you in the parking lot?" Mike just smiles, pecks you on the cheek, and goes off in the direction of the front doors.

Mercedes clucks her tongue, looking at you approvingly. "Tina, you have that boy wrapped around your little finger."

"Shut up." You quickly pull out your phone to your calendar and frown at the screen. "Okay, I'm pretty sure that I'm not forgetting an anniversary. It's not his birthday, we haven't been arguing. I - "

"Tee, your adorable boyfriend is being nice and taking you out for a surprise lunch. Shut up and enjoy it. Now if you excuse me, I have to go play third fiddle in the cafeteria with Artie and Brittany." Mercedes wiggles her fingers at her, "Later."

On your way out, you pass Coach Beiste sitting in a chair near the doors. She doesn't say a single word to you, but she winks and nods her head at the door: a free pass.

Lunch ends up being great - even if you did have to insist _three times_ that the two of you go Dutch. And true to his word, Mike stops by Starbucks and presents Coach Beiste with an iced coffee when the two of you make it back to school before your next class.

You're kind of ridiculously fond of this boy.

"See you in glee," Mike murmurs in your ear; it comes across as almost a question.

You respond by kissing him quickly (an affirmative yes is unnecessary) before pulling back and watch him duck into his Physics class. When you round the corner to your English class, you narrowly avoid getting a slushie to the face.

Luckily, Jacob Ben Israel had been the actual target, but you spend the rest of your class ignoring _The Prayer of Owen Meany_, wondering instead, if you need to start wearing a raincoat again. The brief honeymoon period of truce between the football players and New Directions is clearly over.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, a welcomed distraction, so when Mrs. White isn't looking, you check your messages.

**Kurt(1:54):** home this weekend, movie night at my house?

You don't even have to think before texting a very enthusiastic _OMG YES_ and hitting send.

* * *

When you arrive at the Hudson-Hummels' new house Friday night, you half-expect to find Mercedes and Rachel there as well (and last year, maybe even Quinn or Brittany, but Quinn's all tied up with Sam and Brittany's busy making out with your ex), but it's just you and Kurt. Apparently, Kurt's dad and Finn's mom are out seeing a movie and Finn had just been leaving for a game night with Mike and Puck when you arrived; Finn barely says hi before rushing out the door.

"Finn took a nap just realized he was running late. Mercedes is visiting family in Cincinnati," Kurt explains, after noticing your confusion. "And Rachel said her dads are taking her out to see something, so it'll just be the two of us. I'm sure that you're not completely appalled by the idea of my company tonight."

You can't help it; you snicker. "If this had been anyone else, I would think that this would be a ploy to be alone with me."

Kurt playfully rolls his eyes at you, but he's smiling brightly. He's probably glad to be home for the weekend. "So, what movies did you bring?" He raises his eyebrows at your DVD selections. In the end, the two of you decide on _Chicago_ and _Beetlejuice_ - old comfort movies that you both have watched a dozen times.

_Violent_ old comfort movies.

"I feel like there might be something very wrong with us if _Chicago_ is a comfort movie."

"It just means that we have impeccable taste." Kurt passes you the bowl of his favorite, dry cardboard-tasting organic popcorn just as the Six Merry Murderesses appear on the screen. "I would give up a limb to do this number in glee. I'd probably _have_ to, for it to happen at Dalton. "

"The Warblers not into musical theater numbers?"

"Not unless Blaine somehow manages to sing all six parts at once - no."

"So, Blaine." You're striving for casual, but judging by the way Kurt stares at you with a clearly unimpressed 'yes, what?' expression, you're probably not succeeding. You stop trying to be subtle and decide to go for the Rachel Berry approach: "How is he?"

"Good." Kurt blinks. "He's getting pretty confident the Warblers have what it takes to win Regionals. A little delusional, but I think it's adorable that he thinks it's going to be that easy."

"Don't worry, we haven't even begun finalizing our set-list for Regionals." You sigh, "And I'm pretty sure that come Monday morning, Mr. Schue is going to give us another assignment-of-the-week."

"I bet you five dollars that it'll be related to Valentine's Day."

"Are you kidding? So not taking that bet!"

Kurt is quiet for the rest of _Chicago_ (save for humming along to the music). However, a few minutes into _Beetlejuice_, you notice that he looks like he's visibly shaking from suppressed laughter. Finally, you pause the movie right when Lydia meets the Maitlands.

"What?"

"You totally took your style cues from Lydia Deetz, didn't you?" When you didn't respond, Kurt crows, "You totally did! Lydia Deetz is your Alexander McQueen."

You end up retaliating by tossing popcorn at him.

At the end of the movie, you spend a good fifteen minutes picking kernels off Kurt's living room floor and when you're in the bathroom, Kurt answers your cell phone and proceeds to tell Mike stories about you from elementary and middle school in speakerphone - all of them, _filthy lies_.

When you finally wrestle your phone away from him, you immediately run interference because you don't want your boyfriend to have sudden second thoughts about your relationship.

"Mike, Kurt was lying," you say quickly, ignoring the way Kurt is curled up on the couch snickering at you. "I didn't eat paste from the jar in kindergarten. I think Kurt's IQ has plummeted since he has to live under the same roof as Finn."

"Okay," Mike says easily, voice low and amused. "I just wanted to call and say hi. Oh, and speaking of Finn - he's getting his ass kicked in Mario Kart by me."

"Finn is bad at anything that involves him operating a vehicle, period," Kurt calls from his comfortable position. His eyes light up. "Hey Mike, ask him about 'the mailman'!"

There's a brief pause - you assume that's Mike doing what Kurt suggested - followed by a very loud Finn-like yelp ("DUDE! Kurt, that's totally not cool man!"), and then the call suddenly ends.

You raise an eyebrow at Kurt. "Do I even _want_ to know?"

He shrugs. "Probably not, but it's a really funny story. Oh, and I think you missed some popcorn behind the couch." Because he's not a complete bitch, he actually humors your transparent attempts to get him to admit that he has a crush on the Warblers' front man.

"It's complicated - just because he's gay doesn't mean he's interested."

"It also doesn't mean he's not interested," you point out. "And after all, he serenaded you with Katy Perry when you were spying on them. He seemed kind of into you during your opening number at Sectionals."

"He also sang _Baby It's Cold Outside_ with me and took me to see Rent," Kurt agrees, "But I'm just a little traumatized by what happened the last time I liked a guy. Finn ended up being my stepbrother which has far too many _Flowers in the Attic_ overtones for my comfort."

"Artie and I watched _Coming Home_ like, twenty times when we were dating. Trust me when I say that I understand what you mean by being a little traumatized by relationship fails."

* * *

To say that you're surprised and touched by Artie and Mike's _P.Y.T._ performance would be an understatement.

Mike's not one for grand gestures (and you don't particularly care or need them either - seriously, you're pretty low-maintenance) but it's what he whispers in your ear after he sits down that makes you catch your breath -

"I am _so_ lucky to have you. I've liked you for ages and I don't know what I've done to deserve you."

- because dammit, he wasn't supposed to be the insecure one in this relationship, you can't help but think a little bitterly, even if the rest of you is overjoyed by Mike's confession.

It's not like that you want him to be super-aware of how attractive he is (and become arrogant; major turn-off) - but it's weird, knowing that he thinks of himself as a 'the skinny quiet Asian kid' when he's so good, sweet, and talented. It makes you wonder, again, if he's going to realize one day that he's out of your league - that he doesn't _have_ to put up with weekly slushie facials if he dated someone - practically anyone - else.

Luckily, Kurt's text messages distracts you from brooding too much.

**Kurt (3:23):** good news: blaine knows my coffee order  
**Kurt (3:24):** bad news: he likes someone else  
**Kurt (3:50):** any chance you would like to become a foster parent of any/all GAP clothing i have in my wardrobe?

Kurt doesn't respond to your _? WHAT?_ text, but later in the week, he sends you a Facebook Event titled "The Lonely Hearts Dinner" for Valentine's Day which takes place at Breadstix. In the event description:_Come support the Warblers as they slowly acclimate to performing in less formal settings before Regionals! Believe me, we need all the support we can get!_ is very subtly snarky and 100% Kurt.

It doesn't take much convincing for Mike to agree to change your dinner reservations to go support your friend (and you suppose, your rivaling team for Regionals) instead.

* * *

_{ kurt } _

You'll never admit so out loud, but Tina's your favorite shopping partner-in-crime.

Mercedes is your girl, she has great style, but her taste is the opposite of yours. She likes loud, bright colors and animal prints that only she can pull off.

Quinn favors baby doll tops and demure sundresses; she rarely wears anything that's not from an Anthropologie or Juicy Couture catalog. Whenever you two shop together, she refuses to venture into other stores and has given you the stink-eye more than once whenever you suggest she broaden her sartorial horizons.

As for Rachel, your friendship is still tentative. You would love nothing more than give her a fashion makeover (a real one this time), but you're almost certain that she still hasn't fully forgiven you for last year.

Tina, on the other hand, is a joy to shop with. True, she favors dark-colored clothing, lace, plaid, and skulls. (Thankfully, not all at once.) But you can work with that: she's _very_ open to suggestions and experimenting with her clothes and make-up (you take credit for introducing her to MAC Ruby Woo lipstick), and she's easily the most adventurous out of all your girls by far.

She is also rightfully envious of your impressive Doc Martens collection, which only further proves that she has excellent taste.

The two of you have even come to a sort of unsaid agreement: you will never tell her that her style is actually less goth/punk and more 'person who really likes the color black because it's slimming'; and likewise, she will never tease you about your fondness for harnesses and bondage-esque accessories. (Despite what Santana has said, you simply like the aesthetic; fashion is about _pushing limits_, there are no hidden underlying meanings!). Those are completely off-limit topic conversations.

"You still need to return my H&M sweater-dress."

"It's in my car," Tina reassures you. "Thanks, by the way. I wore it last Tuesday. We need to organize another clothing swap before the weather gets warmer. I don't suppose you'll be willing to part with one of your five hundred McQueen scarves?"

You think for a moment. "You can borrow the white and peach one, but only if I can borrow your bird and the bird cage necklaces." At her confused look, you shrug,"I've gotten rather attached to Pavarotti. Necklaces are sort of a gray area within the school dress code."

"Deal." Tina sighs. "So did I tell you about how Finn decided to set up a kissing booth to raise money for New Directions? And how both he and Quinn are now out with mono?"

"No! Details, immediately."

Somehow, the hilariously sad exploits of your stepbrother segue to the assignment-of-the-week in glee. (You had been totally right - "love songs". Mr. Schue is nothing if predictable.)

"So, here's the embarrassing part – after Mike and Artie sang MJ to Brittany and me, I decided that I should sing something to Mike, right?" Tina asks, and you nod because you remember her asking for song suggestions a few days ago. "So I decided on _My Funny Valentine_."

"Rodgers and Hart, a classic." You approve.

Tina groans from behind a Nordstrom clearance rack. "It was a hot mess," she confesses, shaking her head. She looks almost disgusted with herself. "I broke down crying - _actually broke down crying_. It was super embarrassing; I almost gave myself a stutter afterward. Mike was great about it - but I'm not sure what came over me."

"My Valentine's Day was decidedly mediocre," you tell her, trying to cheer her up. "I had finally gotten up the nerve to tell Blaine - " Tina's eyes widen slightly, "And let me put it this way: if friend-zoning were a sport, Blaine would be a triple Olympic gold medalist. It's what actually inspired me to put together the Lonely Hearts Club Dinner performance at Breadstix yesterday."

Tina squeezes your shoulder before directing your attention to a particularly gorgeous pair of Norma Kamali safety-pin pants with a price tag that says 40% off. "Froyo, my treat, before we hit up H&M?"

* * *

"It's not like everything at Dalton is perfect," you tell her over frozen yogurt at the food court, "Because it's not. The Warblers - they operate differently, it's nothing like New Directions. It's not perfect, but it's good enough, and I'm perfectly okay with that. It's just that I constantly feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"I understand perfectly," Tina tells you, with so much sincerity and empathy that you don't even try to doubt her. She looks at you, lips curving upward into a sad half-smile. "It sucks. Functional relationships are _hard_." '

"Functional non-relationships are even harder," you retort, grinning a little when this elicits bright laughter from her. "At least I wasn't the only one who thought that Blaine was going to sing to me - Jeff stopped me after practice and told me he thought _for sure_ that Blaine meant me."

"He's being a stupid boy." Tina makes a vague hand gesture and adds, "Present company excluded, of course - " you nod understandingly, "But boys tend to do stupid things to catch their crushes' attention. Finn, for example, decided that kissing all the girls in school would be the right way to get Quinn to like him again. And how that's working out for him? They both have mono."

"True."

"And Puck thought that singing _Fat Bottom Girls_ would be the right way to win Lauren Zizes' heart."

You wince. "I imagine that didn't end well."

"Nope," Tina says, cheerfully. "I'm kind of glad that Puck's after Lauren - because otherwise I'm the only girl in New Directions he hasn't gone after. Knowing Puck, he probably has a list and this weird need to have an unbroken record like Brittany."

You snort. "For your sake, I hope it takes a lot more than Puck playing guitar and singing to you to get you to go out with him. I'm glad Zizes, at least, is making him work for it."

* * *

Regionals keeps creeping closer on the horizon, but the Warblers seem pretty confident in their set-list: it's basically been set in stone for ages, and you think that it's predictable as always. Top 40s hit, five-part acapella arrangement, Blaine hopping about in the front like a very spirited baby penguin.

It's been done to death, but the Warblers seem to think that because it worked for them for Sectionals - it would work for them again at Regionals.

The Warblers Council refuses to take New Directions as a serious threat after seeing Quinn and Sam perform at Sectionals. They seem to have taken it for granted that Quinn, Sam, and Santana are the strongest singers in the group - which means that they're going to be in for an unpleasant surprise when they hear Rachel Berry or Mercedes Jones sing for the first time at their next competition.

"We are so ready for Regionals," Blaine says, trying to reassure you while in line at Lima Bean, "Seriously. We'll blow them out of the water. Stop worrying about it, dummy."

"Tina texted me last week saying that Rachel and Mercedes performed an amazing rendition of _Take Me or Leave Me_ in the glee," you retort, rolling your eyes and feeling a little sad that you missed it. Apparently, the song had been for a friendly diva-off between the two - but you would have been cheering for both your girls.

He frowns, clearly puzzled. "So, they're pretty good?"

"Yes," you say, wryly as Blaine orders his usual medium drip. "You could say that they're 'pretty good'." What you're really thinking is _understatement of the year_ but hey, you tried.

Your phone buzz twice in your pocket when your coffee order gets called out and Blaine graciously goes off to get it while you check your messages.

"It's from Puck and Rachel," you tell Blaine, when he returns. "Apparently there's going to be a wild party at Chez Berry this weekend."

"Sounds fun," Blaine comments. "Didn't think that it would be your kind of scene."

"Is it yours?"

Blaine shrugs. "It's nice to get loose every now and then." He looks at you strangely, "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Calling in a favor," you reply cryptically, furiously texting/blackmailing Finn. "In the mean time, keep your Saturday night free for me."

* * *

It actually takes a lot of effort to get Finn to convince Rachel to let you invite Blaine to the party.

Surprisingly enough, it's not like Finn doesn't want to include you or Blaine in the club festivities. It's just that he's worried _about you_.

"Remember what happened the last time you drank?" Finn had pointed out, worried. "Dude, I don't want to have to drive you to the Emergency Room or clean up after you get sick."

"Finn," you had told him, very patiently, "That was a one-time thing and I have no desire to repeat that experience."

"But you're my brother now," Finn had continued, scrunching up his face in concern. "What if you, like, accidentally drink too much because someone said something dickish to you? Or if you're a protoype of someone who gets really upset when they drink."

"Archetype."

"Huh?"

You had sighed, exasperated, even though you felt a pang of fondness for Finn's good intentions. "The word you're looking for is archetype and if it makes you feel any better, I'll stick to wine coolers or I'll be a teetotaler throughout the affair. Now unless you want me to tell Carole what you've been looking at when she's not home - "

"Dude, fine!"

You have to admit, it had been kind of sweet of Finn to care.

* * *

The actual party turns out to be nothing like you expected it to be.

You had been so careful with your outfit choice; spending a good hour staring at your closet before finally choosing a red Calvin Klein shirt (Finn had once said that red is your color) and the pair of amazing Norma Kamali pants that cost an arm, a leg, and several indispensable body parts (even with the discount) but Tina had reassured looked 'amazing' on you.

As it turns out, what you wore didn't matter. Because Blaine doesn't notice because Blaine is _wasted_ and he's too busy making out with Rachel two feet away from you.

It feels like you've gotten punched in the throat and everyone in the room is too drunk to notice. Except Finn, who sends you occasional sympathetic looks, but he's busy trying to make sure no one dies of alcohol poisoning to do anything more than that.

Eventually, you realize that the party is winding down and Finn's been trying to catch your eye for the better part of five minutes. "Dude," he says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "I think the girls and Artie might be crashing here, but I'm going to give Puck a ride home. I think Blaine should probably crash at our house."

"Right."

Finn looks at you expectantly. He coughs. "Um, I think I'm going to need some help getting him in the car. He's short, but he's also kind of heavy."

* * *

Blaine is a pretty inconsiderate bedmate.

Not only does he hog all the covers and takes up most of the bed. You spend half the night trying your best not to fall off your side of the bed once you've realized that he's not going to stay sleeping under the top sheet.

He's also incredibly grabby - every time you think you're safe, he follows you like he's seeking warmth, which could have been really nice if didn't reek of alcohol.

All and all, it means that you didn't sleep a wink all night. And because you're not operating at your very best, you didn't think to wake Blaine up before your dad wanders upstairs to catch your current love interest in a very compromising situation.

You manage to shoo Blaine out of the house not long afterward and you make your escape to a nearby Barnes & Noble with homework for the rest of the day. You're trying your best to prolong the undoubtedly awkward and _completely_ unwarranted talk from your dad because seriously, he raised you right and Blaine's virtue is completely safe if you don't count him heterosexually macking lips with Rachel Berry.

Judging by everyone's Facebook statuses - variations of 'fuck my life' show up on your newsfeed throughout the day - you think it's safe to assume that everyone is just as miserable as you are. Even though you didn't drink, and they are legitimately hungover.

When Rachel's angry comment on Artie's wall berating him about leaving Monopoly money all over her basement shows up, you feel slightly vindicated.

* * *

Tina had been in the area after Blaine stormed out.

She had replied with a _k be there soon_ after you texted her, and you think you see Mike's silver Honda Civic idling outside while he drops her off in front of Lima Bean.

"Hey," she greets you, smiling before making a beeline to order a soy vanilla latte. When she returns, she takes Blaine's empty seat and says, simply, "Talk."

And you do; you fill her in on all the details of what happened at the party (Tina hadn't remembered much) and how your dad found Blaine in your bed but how _nothing happened_ because you've been raised better than that and she nods understandingly while you talk about how fucking unfair it is that _Rachel Berry_ has gotten to kiss two of the guys you've been interested in, and not only that - Blaine now thinks that he might not be gay after all, which is total bullshit.

At the last one, something flickers in Tina's face but she doesn't say anything. She continues to sip her lukewarm latte while you recount and rant about the conversation that took place less than a half hour before.

When you're done, she sets her cup down and asks, frowning, "Did you really say that?"

"I said a lot of things," you reply sharply. "You're going to have to be a lot more specific than that."

Tina is unfazed. "Did you really say 'bisexual is the term that guys use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel normal'?"

"_Yes_."

"Okay," she continues, "Did you honestly mean that?" When you don't respond, Tina raises an eyebrow, "Because if you did, that's a douche move."

"What do you - "

She's not done. "I know you're hurt that Blaine doesn't like you back and I know that you had a weird sexuality crisis last year and you're 100% sure that you're gay, but not everyone is just straight or gay, you know. Some people -" her breath hitches slightly, " - some people _can_ be attracted to girls and boys and you were being a jerk right then."

"Right," you say, finally, after being struck speechless for a few good moments. "Right, like you know how it's like to be queer in Lima - "

"Actually," Tina says sharply, glaring at you. "Actually, as the matter of fact, _I do_. Just 'cause I've _only_ dated guys doesn't mean that I'm completely straight, just because it's not listed on my Facebook profile doesn't mean - it doesn't mean a lot of things. And I don't really blame Blaine for walking out on you _because_ Kurt Hummel, I am so close to doing the same thing right now." She stands up and shakes her empty latte lightly; "I'm going to toss this and go use the restroom and when I come back, I hope you're going to listen very carefully to what I'm going to say."

At the beginning of sophomore year, the idea of Tina Cohen-Chang inadvertently coming out and then threatening you in a coffee shop would have been preposterous.

You nod and she gives you a tiny smile.

* * *

You mull over Tina's words for the rest of the week at Dalton. You feel guilty enough to help Rachel clean up her basement; it's not like you don't _doubt_ Tina's words, obviously she hadn't been saying things for show - but you're kind of resentful.

She can pass as straight. Tina has only been in relationships with guys, and just because she has been attracted to girls in the past - _including Rachel Berry_ for a couple of weeks doesn't prove anything, you think, because she has never been with one.

She could easily find them aesthetically pleasing and not be attracted to them in a physical, emotional, or sexual way. She could just _think_ she was bisexual because she thought Megan Fox was attractive in _Jennifer's Body_ but she won't feel the same way if she's ever confronted with another person's ladyparts.

But then again, you've never been involved with a guy and you're positive you're gay. Just the thought of ladyparts makes you cringe.

Still, you're too prideful to apologize to Blaine directly and he's obviously still hurting from your words so the two of you spend the rest of the week avoiding/ignoring each other. It's obvious enough that the other Warblers notice, but unlike New Directions, they don't try to pry. At most, the Warblers Council just frown at your general direction and but don't say anything.

Things get better after Rachel ambush Blaine at Lima Bean and he realizes that he's totally 100% gay, but things are still tentative between you two. It's obvious by the way he watches himself around you that he still remembers your words.

You can't find yourself to apologize because _you had been right_ (about him) and you hate admitting you're wrong and that you said all of those things because you were projecting.

He still doesn't know about how you dated Brittany last year as a sad attempt to 'become straight' and you're certain that he'll either find it hilarious or think you're a hypocrite (he won't be entirely wrong about the latter) so you just let him think that you said all of those things out of pure jealousy and spite.

Comparatively speaking, it's just easier.

And maybe someday you'll be able to apologize without feeling humiliated when you explain about your short one-week relationship with a girl and how badly you wished you could have been born straight or bi instead of "capital G gay". Being gay in Ohio isn't a death sentence, but sometimes it sure as hell feels like it is.

Hopefully, some day, knowing that Blaine (even while intoxicated) is attracted to Rachel but _not you_ would also hut less; it could be something the two of you can easily joke about.

* * *

When Coach Sylvester pops up at Lima Bean, you're surprised by how unguarded Blaine is around your former (but still terrifying) cheerleading coach.

Blaine shoots you a curious look at your nickname, but he's too preoccupied by the strange concoction Coach Sylvester is cooking up to ask. And when Blaine's eyes light up at the idea of 'sexifying' their Regionals set-list, well, you decide it's probably better not to ask how Blaine knows exactly where to find a foam machine and an empty abandoned warehouse near Dalton. Or how he's going to convince a bunch of teenage schoolgirls from Crawford Country to willingly agree to meet them there.

He _does_ raise your stupid hopes up when he suggests to the Warblers Council that they perform Neon Trees' _Animal_ and that you should take the second lead because it's in your range, but then after their performance, he implies - no, he states outright - that you look like you're having gas pains.

Because obviously, how on Earth could someone like him being attracted to someone like you, who can't even look semi-attractive while performing? No wonder Rachel got all the solos in New Directions. No wonder Blaine had made out with _her_ instead of you; it's because you have the sexual appeal of a baby penguin or a Muppet baby.

You're in the middle of lamenting in the pathetic state of your nonexistent (and forever alone) love life when your iPhone screen lights up with a new text message from Tina.

**Tina (6:03):** whatever's making you quote wicked's no good deed on fb, STOP it!  
**Tina (6:05):** srsly kurt get on skype  
**Tina (6:07):** you wont believe what happened in glee today i'm pretty sure santana came out to everyone, btw did you know that ms h. is back?  
**Tina (6:10):** i know youre home in lima this weekend if you dont respond i am totally going drive to your house right now

And she proceeds to do that just that; showing up with a DVD of _Corpse Bride_ and inviting herself into your home.

Tina bullies you into making popcorn (the Orville Redenbacher kind that Finn keeps not-so secretly stashed behind a box of Quaker Oats in the pantry, not the organic kind you like) for her and she fills you in on McKinley High gossip.

"How are things between you and Mike?" you ask, after she runs out of things to say. The movie plays on by neither of you are paying much attention.

Tina shrugs, "It's been fine. After Santana and Brittany's song, I had a talk with Mike about - _stuff_ and I think he's fine with it." Her lips quirk up in a soft half-smile. "I think he might actually be a little worried that he has competition or something which is dumb. I already told him, in front of everyone in glee nonetheless, that I love him."

"Like I've told you before, that boy adores you."

Tina's gaze softens a little and she reaches over to squeeze your shoulder gently. "I'm sure Blaine does too," she says, with utter conviction. "I'm positive. He's just not aware of it yet."

"It must be nice, liking someone and having them like you back."

"It is, but it's not that easy. Not to be a buzzkill, but relationships are nothing like the movies," Tina sighs, "there's a whole lot of miscommunication from both sides. Did I ever tell you about the time when Mike went all Justin Bieber on me during my Angry Bird obsession days?"

"Yes, you have. I thought it was hilarious and would like to remind you that if I was still at McKinley, I would have told the guys that they were being incredibly stupid."

"I'm not an expert on relationships either, so you can probably forget everything I just said."

You snort. "You and Mike are probably the most functional, long-lasting relationship from New Directions. The two of you must be doing _something_ right." Leaning into her shoulder, you say conversationally, "You know, this movie is utterly terrifying and completely unsuitable for small children."

She beams, smug, and replies in a loud conspiratorial whisper,"_I know._"

* * *

Pavarotti's death comes to a surprise to everyone.

You're taken back by how much you miss him. Your dad had been incredibly doubtful when he learned that you've been entrusted to take care of a bird at school, but even he had become accustomed to Pavarotti's presence around the house during weekends.

Before you made friends with Nick and Jeff, Pavarotti had always been there for you when you needed an ear at Dalton. He had been very easy to care for, he never woke you up early in the morning with his singing, and he sometimes he even accompanied you while you practice - like something straight out of a Disney film.

You always wondered if all warblers were just that low-maintenance and wonderful, or if you had gotten lucky. Judging by how Trent always complained about his warbler; you're pretty sure that you had just been lucky.

Since technically the dress code is only enforced during school hours, you show up to Warblers practice in full mourning dress.

It's only appropriate.

You spent forever debating about the arrangement. At first, you had been set on the Evan Rachel Wood arrangement from _Across the Universe_, but there had been something so simple and perfect with the original that you decided on to go with the Paul McCartney version. No one can ever fault a classic.

Someone - you think it may have been Blaine - joins in and so do the rest of the Warblers.

It's your moment to sing, even though it's brief, and you think your heart swells a little when you realize that the floor is yours. No one thinks you're being over-dramatic about Pavarotti's death, everyone's being respectful, even Trent - who you know despises birds and isn't a fan of the tradition.

You might not get a solo in the actual competition; but you have the entire council's attention for now. After singing in the background for months (the _Animal_ performance notwithstanding), it's amazing being able to sing freely without having to worry about blending your voice with everyone else.

* * *

You're not paying attention to the Council or any of the decisions being discussed until Blaine pips up and suggests a duet.

And then he recommends _you_ for the second lead.

By unanimous vote, the rest of the Warblers agree.

You're not even sure how to categorized your emotions; the attention's overwhelming, but you can see Wes, David, and Thad smiling at you from the Head Council table and Nick and Jeff are giving you friendly congratulatory back slaps, so you're pretty sure this is the best feeling in the world.

You get proven wrong when Blaine finds you in an empty study room later.

One minute you're bedazzling Pavarotti's casket.

The second, Blaine is holding your hands and saying all the words that you're fervently hoping you're not misinterpreting -

And the kiss ensures that there is no room for misinterpretation.

It's slightly clumsy, but Blaine mouth is slick against yours and you can feel the faintest hint of stubble scraping across your skin and the combination of the two makes your toes curl: it's unbelievably perfect, everything your previous kisses should have (and hadn't been).

You're _very_ glad that Blaine's eyes are closed because you're certain your hand performed a very unattractive sort of flaily motion.

When he finally pulls away, Blaine looks sheepish and adorably bashful by what he just did.

(Later, he'll tell you,"_I honestly hadn't planned that_" and you just roll your eyes at him, telling him that since most of his grandiose plans result in legal action - preventing him from stepping foot in the GAP at the Westerville mall for the next two years; he should strictly stick to improv).

You're entirely too fixated on his lips and amazingly long eyelashes (seriously; they almost put Quinn's eyelashes to shame) to care or take him seriously when he says, "Um, I think we should practice".

You don't quite remember what you said but you suppose your response must have been appropriately witty and charming because he kisses you again and many, many times after that.

At Regionals, Tina catches your eye from across the stage.

She looks immensely pleased when she notices Blaine clutching your shoulder like a lifeline while all the teams waits for the final results. You know that the fact the you and Blaine had sung a duet together hadn't escaped her notice either.

_Give me details later,_ she mouths and winks, beaming like a proud mother.

Even though your heart is hammering in your chest, you can't help but smile back at her and nod.

* * *

If you're curious about the clothing items I've mentioned, I highly recommend you check out the fashionofglee tumblr and go through their extensive archives. (They even separate it by character/accessories and all the clothes/accessories I've mentioned exist and have been worn on the show!)

I also honestly thought that they were hinting that Tina would be bisexual from the pilot with her audition song and her reaction to Rachel's boobgrab in "You're the One That I Want" but then the show never actually went there, so I incorporated that in.

Reviews and constructive criticism greatly appreciated; as much as I like seeing people adding my fics to their favorites, it's always very nice to hear your thoughts.


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